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Dr. Todd Cartmell is a psychologist who works with children, adolescents and families in his practice in Wheaton, Illinois. His new book, Respectful Kids, teaches right, respectful behavior, for kids should be trained, as Solomon has said. "Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it" (Proverbs 22:6). His matter-of-fact, conversational tone is refreshing as he teaches us to look for the positive in our child, to seek the "gold nugget" that lurks beneath the surface of the dirt, or disrespectful behavior, that we often are too quick to notice. As our kids’ Respect Coach, we become very hands-on in shaping children’s responses in a positive way. Dr. Cartmell brings the well-known Chinese Proverb to light: "Give a man a fish and he eats for a day. Teach him to fish and you feed him for a lifetime." By giving kids the tools to look for the positives in any situation with flexible thinking, and teaching them how to problem-solve, we help them to control their unruly responses. This knowledge toolkit will benefit them throughout their lives. They learn that respectful behavior has many positive benefits, including fun activities, privileges, and the satisfaction in knowing he or she is obeying God. This book challenges us to change our perspective toward parenting. Dr. Cartmell shows the parenting process in a new light throughout the book, making it easier to enjoy our children with less hassle and arguing so we can find joy in them again. Throughout, he uses concrete examples and metaphors that illustrate his point. His real life examples are written in terms in which adults understand and relate. What parent hasn’t put a dollar in the vending machine or gotten a speeding ticket? Sample dialoguesdemonstrate the escalation of disrespectful behavior, such as the endless struggles over brushing teeth at bedtime or keeping a child in his or her own room at night. He includes scripts that put his training tools to use, helping parent and child come up with solutions drawn from his psychology practice and from his personal life. At the end of each chapter, there is a summary and a section called "taking the next step", which tells us what we can expect. There are scripture passages to read and think about, and soul searching for the parent, since the child patterns him or herself from parental behavior. In Respectful Kids, Dr. Cartmell’s three-prong approach explains what respectful behavior is, encourages children how to be respectful and addresses solutions for lingering disrespect issues without the parent losing all control in the process. It is a delightful, positive approach to a sometimes arduous task of raising children. "No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it." (Hebrews 12:11) How wonderful that both parent and child enjoy the fruitful bounty. Publisher: NavPress, 2006. |
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