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For most parents, the idea of having to talk to their children about sex and sexuality leaves them with sweaty palms and dry mouths. It’s not that parents don’t see the importance, they just aren’t sure what to say…or how…or even when, for that matter! Add to that the fact that very few parents today had conversations about sexuality with their parents and so there is no model, good or bad, from which to work. This leaves most parents feeling very awkward in unfamiliar territory. But in a sex-saturated society like ours, the consequences of saying nothing are steep and our children will be the ones to suffer. Jim Burns has been ministering to youth and families for the better part of 30 years and this latest book is part of a larger curriculum called Pure Foundations which urges parents to teach their children to see their sexuality, not just as a physical act, but rather as a weaving together of our spiritual, physical, emotional, and charactorial complexities. Burns begins with Scripture to build a value-centered, Biblical theology of sexuality. He urges parents to study the culture and use it to raise discussions of sexuality with their children. And he urges parents to model healthy sexual behavior and values, to be honest (and age-appropriate) about their own past, and to unapologetically set limits to protect their children. The strength of the book is two-fold. First, the repeated encouragements to start the discussions. Some will go well, others won’t. One presentation, even perfectly delivered, is woefully insufficient. The goal is not to dump information, it is to create a way of thinking about sexuality. Second, he identifies a variety of topics to cover in numerous on-going conversations (discussions, not lectures), over several years, always age-appropriate. The weakness of the book is its lack of specifics in two areas: resources and examples. Burns often refers to excellent resources that are available but doesn’t identify what they are or where to find them. And second, there are almost no examples of “sample” conversations in the book. Maybe they appear elsewhere in the curriculum, but they would be helpful to have in the book; giving first-time parents a general sense of how to enter into these conversations, or giving some examples of age-appropriateness. Overall, this book, and its accompanying curriculum, will be a blessing to parents who want to raise their children with a healthy, biblical understanding of their sexuality. Readers who enjoyed Burns’ Confident Parenting and Hayley DiMarco’s Sexy Girls will want to read this. Parents, youth pastors, and parachurch ministry directors would be wise to get this material and use it.
Publisher: Bethany House Buy it now from our affiliate Bookstore CrossPurposesBooks.com
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